Christmas

I thought about post-dating this entry, but in the end decided not to. It has simply taken me this long to be able to sit down and even try to tell you about Christmas. Some things were very strange to me. We never sat down and talked about mom. In fact mom was mentioned more in the way we did things that mom would have done differently then directly talking about her or remembering her in sharing memories. However, mom was there every step of the way.
I found myself excited to go to dad’s house and be with all my family. Not only were all of my siblings there, but all of my mom’s siblings and dad’s as well. It started out like any other Christmas. We all arrived at different times, some sooner and some later. Then we started to prepare. We decorated, which mom would have had done; and she would have done it completely different than us. But, it was fun to find the decorations and put them on the tree. We realized before I got there that mom had lent out her Christmas tree for something or other and it never made it home. We had a good laugh over that, it was typical mom to lend, and typical cancer for her to forget and not remember to get it back. Dad bought a beautiful tree and it looked wonderful when it was all done up.
Heather got all of the good fixins for our traditional Christmas Eve fondue party. Mom started this tradition a long time ago. Many family members and even non family members have enjoyed this great party to kick off Christmas. We all gather at mom and dad’s house and we feast till we can’t anymore and then we eat some more. We even remembered the time mom burned a piece of steak in the oil so black that she couldn’t get it off her fondue fork. When she finally dislodged the poor piece of meat it went flying across the room and was never found.
We had a non traditional talent show. Uncle Jim did some wonderful magic tricks with Kathy. The kids and the adults were mesmerized. Heathers kids played their instruments. Tracer the violin and Kayla the Saxophone. They both did wonderful and mom would have thought it was the best thing in the world. Kyle treated us to a rare dance to Jingle Bell Rock. Then dad read the Christmas Story and we turned out the lights and sang Silent Night. There were a few tears, but mostly it felt good to celebrate the Savior’s Birth. Mom would have been proud that the food and the entertainment went off without a hitch.
On Christmas day we all got up and opened presents from Santa. Then we gathered again, at Heather’s house, for dinner and more presents. Grandpa gave his gifts to grandkids. It was the first Christmas any of us could remember that mom and dad did not upstage us parents. That part was a little sad. Mom being larger than life was part of the magic of Christmas. The fact that she lived for having an excuse to lavish gifts on her family was ingrained in her very being. The thing I grieve for the most is that there will be grandchildren who will never know a Grandma Pauly’s Christmas. That was the largest complaint I heard the whole night.
We had a fantastic dinner prepared by Scott and Heather. We talked and joked and enjoyed way too much food and even more laughter. We held the traditional Yankee gift exchange. It got a little heated and a few got bumps and bruises, but over all it went well. Uncle Derek asked me if we had talked about mom much, and I said no. It was kind of different than what I expected. I’m not sure why we didn’t talk about mom. I felt like she was a part of it. But after talking to several of my siblings, it seems some felt like it was awkward and not quite right. Which it wasn’t. Mom wasn’t there. She would have had a million things planned for us to do and we would have had no time to relax.
The day after we let the kids play with their Christmas gifts. We mostly just relaxed. I went shopping with Heather and Kaiya. That was fun. The guys lazed around and did some shooting.
Joe and Michelle had to leave after that. The rest of us had another dinner together and then we all had to leave also. Weather did not permit much time to share after Christmas, but we enjoyed each other while we could.
I remember on Christmas Day hugging dad and getting a little teary eyed. I told him something was missing and it just wasn’t the same. He agreed and hugged me back. It felt good to actually get it out in the open. Dad said the most wonderful things the morning we left. We had a family prayer just before leaving, Derrick and Catherine to fly and Bruce & me, Craig and Ketra, and families to drive. Heather was there to drive with dad back from Spokane. He looked at us all and told us that our mother would have been so proud of how we celebrated Christmas. There was not a dry eye in the room. Or at least I think so, I was crying. Dad could never have said something nicer or that meant more to us at that moment. Mom would have been proud.

Dad and Mom at the Basin City Ward Christmas Party. Dad has been The Big Man since mom was activities leader years ago.