Ketra's Memories

What a daunting task to try to sum up some memories of my mother. It's been said that a mother's influence is incalculable, and I believe it! For those of you who attended Mom's funeral, I put a lot of my memories into her life sketch. But that is just such a tiny portion of the memories I have of Mom.

Some of my earliest memories are of sitting around our table at the house in Pasco with Mom showing us some matching clothes for me and my two sisters. My Uncle Jim said we were always "color coded." We had matching outfits in different colors. Our early family portraits showed the family in some sort of matching clothes, usually she had a hand in making them.

Many of my memories are of working with mom. Sometimes it was changing water on the farm, or doing dishes together, or endlessly sitting in the front room on the floor tackling crafts. It didn't matter what kind of work we were doing - we were doing it together, and Mom made it fun. We would laugh and talk and sing songs.

Mom had such a creative flair that it permeated EVERYTHING she did. She was my Brownie leader and we had the BEST crafts and the most FUN activities. I always knew that I was one of the lucky kids that had a cool mom! Mom was also one of my 4-H leaders, and everything we did, right down to the names we gave our animals, fit in with some fun, creative theme that Mom had cooked up. I remember one year our displays all went along with a rock-band theme, and our pigs had names of rock stars. She made such an effort to understand us at our level. Mom was also the CPT president when I was in elementary school. I remember helping her decorate for various events. It seems like she was involved in every aspect of our lives - school, friends, and fun.

Mom loved to take her kids shopping. I remember spending lots of time hunting for bargains and trying on clothes. Before school started each year she would take us somewhere special to shop; a few times we went to Yakima, we also went to the outlets at Post Falls. My favorite shopping events were for formal dances. She had a knack for picking out dresses that would be just perfect. Our shopping trips always included going out to eat at our current favorite restaurant. As a teen I remember going to La Comida a lot.

Some of my favorite memories as a young girl are the times when it was my turn to go with Mom to a bazaar - just me and her. It was special Mom & Me time. I liked to help her set up the displays and make change for her customers. I remember once taking some of Grandma Bates' dolls to sell. When things got slow I'd crawl under the display and wiggle the arms or feet of the dolls when people would walk by just to draw some attention.

Learning to cook with mom was a family affair. She would have each of us girls (and the boys when they were old enough) sit up around the counter and work on making a salad, or grating cheese, or doing some other part of the dinner. She was at her best when cooking a large family dinner and all of us kids would be making this or that salad while she was preparing the rolls. I remember our tiny kitchen before Dad remodeled it. Somehow Mom and the three girls were able to all work together in a space about the size of a bathtub. I guess close quarters helps tie families together. She was so thrilled to have her big kitchen when Dad finished it.

During my teen years I remember our family being very busy. Mom loved to see her kids trying new things and excelling in sports, or school, or whatever they were interested in. We had a huge calendar that she would pull off of the wall during dinner and we would plan out how to get everyone where they needed to be. It was a lot of juggling, and now that I'm a mother I sometimes wonder how she did it. But that was just her way - she wanted us to do well in everything so she made it work. I never had a question about whether my parents would want to support me in some new venture. It was always a given.

I think I grew to appreciate Mom even more as I became a mother. After having my first baby she came to stay at our home in Pocatello. She stocked our freezer full of meals, shared stories & motherly advice, and even made some bumper pads for the crib that I hadn't gotten to. I was so sad when she had to go home. I remember my husband witnessing it all and just saying "wow." But that was mom. Everything she did was "wow."

When I turned 18 and chose to join the LDS Church, I was a little surprised when my Mom asked to say the closing prayer at my baptismal service. I guess as a self-centered teen I hadn't realized the changes that she was going through. From that point on, Mom came to church with me. Her faith meant a lot to her and she adapted her life to it. One of my treasured memories was being her escort when she went through the temple for the first time. The gospel is very family-centered, which for my mom was already a natural part of her life. She loved to serve people and did a lot to serve in her church ward.

It's not easy to say goodbye to someone who shaped your life in such meaningful ways. I'm just thankful to know that families can be together forever, if we simply follow God's plan for us.

Derrick's Memmory

I find myself struggling with focusing on a few memories of Mom. I guess my main concern is this - how can such a wonderful woman, who led such a wonderful life, be given the credit she deserves in just a few stories? How can I truly express the way I feel, and the impact that she had on my life, in sentences and paragraphs? Mom was, to me, an example of a type of person I wanted to be when I grew up. Mom had so many friends, and she did such a wonderful job at making anyone feel welcome. She was an example of a truly charitable person. I remember once when I was in Junior High School - obviously an awkward time for a boy - we had a family move in with us on the farm and stay a while. One person that moved in was a young man that was about three years older than me. This family didn't have much of their own, but Mom simply brought them into the fold. I remember that Mom took, myself, my brother Joe, and this other young man shopping for clothes before the school year started. Mom offered to buy this young man clothes, knowing that he had little or no money that he could use to buy his own. I think Mom recognized the difficult situation this young man was in - moving to a new state, starting a new school, and worrying about trying to find new friends and fit in. Mom selected a pair of jeans for this young man to try on and it so happened that the jeans Mom selected were one of the more affordable pairs of jeans. He informed Mom that he only wore the most expensive type of jeans. I vividly remember thinking, "Oh man! She's gonna let him have it." I waited for Mom to explain to him that we don't always get what we want and if he wanted the more expensive jeans then he could get a job and purchase them himself. I was very surprised when she said not a word and found a pair of the more expensive jeans in his size and purchased them for him. That's just the way Mom was.

I'm sure that I'm not the only one of my siblings to feel this way, because I think on some level we all feel it; but I always thought that my Mother and I had a unique relationship. I was Mom's youngest child and, apparently, an accident. I didn't find that out until I got married and Mom confided in my wife that they didn't plan on having me 11 months after my brother was born. Anyways, one thing that I really felt Mom and I shared was our love for musicals. It's no surprise to anyone that Mom was a prodigy when it came to making crafts. She had a talent given to her by Heavenly Father and she used that talent to benefit others. Mom frequently would enlist me to help her gear up for crafting season. One particular season, Mom created a new Easter Bunny doll. My job was to take some fabric that Mom sewed into tubes, fill the bottom four inches with kitty litter, and then stuff the rest of the twenty inches with stuffing. There was one day that Mom had me stuffing 70 tubes. On that particular day we were watching the classic movie channel and 'The Pirates of Penzance' aired. We watched it together and thoroughly enjoyed it. So much so that three hours later we switched to the west coast channel of the same network so that we could watch it together again. And you better believe that we were singing every song we could remember that second time. That movie still reminds me of Mom. She always supported my love of music and theater. She even made a trip to Rexburg with Dad based on the fact that I was singing in my Ward's talent show. Mom, you and I will always have 'Pirates' and 'Phantom'.

Mom also taught me how to love my future wife. There were a few things that I could count on as being routine my last two years of High School. We had nachos almost every Sunday, two times a week Mom would bring home ribs from Albertson's for dinner, and almost every night I would see my Mom and Dad fall asleep on the couch together holding hands. Mom loves Dad, and she showed it freely while she was with us. During my Junior High days, a very popular song came out by Meatloaf, 'I would do anything for love.' If my memory serves me correctly, Rachael had a cassette with that song on it. We made several road trips that year for sports and I can vividly remember sitting in the back seat of the car behind Dad. Mom would put that cassette in the player and start singing along. When it reached the chorus, Mom reached her hand over toward Dad and would affectionately stroke her fingers through his hair. It's funny the things that we remember, but that memory always makes me smile. I was lucky enough to grow up with a Mother who loved my Father, and through their example I can be a husband that openly shows love for his wife.

Mom was a pillar of strength for me as well, and she was always there for me. I had a really rough patch my junior year in college because my life hadn't progressed to the point that I had always planned it would be at that time. I didn't really share much about how I was feeling with anyone, but I did call Mom and let her know that I was going to drive home for a weekend because I needed a hug from her. I guess that is the best way that I know how to share what type of woman Mom was. I could drive eight hours through horrible snow-packed roads because I knew that one hug from my Mom would make everything better and help me put things in perspective. It hurts me knowing that I can't have those hugs right now in my stage of life, but I look forward to the day when I can once again embrace my Mom and see her wonderful smile and know that things will be OK.

Mom, I love you. You will be missed, but never forgotten.

-Derrick

A memory from Aunt Terry

As all who are crafters know you push yourself to get those last projects done and never get enough sleep during Christmas sales. One year at Cordiner in Walla Walla, Judy asked me if I knew where she could take a nap. I took her to the balcony, which was empty but carpeted. Every year after that , when things got slow in the afternoon, if I couldn't find your Mom, I knew she was upstairs taking a nap. She could just curl up on the floor and go right to sleep. I used to check on her now and then. I have that picture of her in my mind often when I think of her. In Pendleton I would watch the booth so she and your Dad could have lunch together. After lunch Judy could just fall asleep sitting in her chair. I always thought Joe was great going with her and taking care of her. She was a lucky lady in so many ways.
Love you,
Aunt Terry

Marla's Memories

I have many fond memories of Judy Pauly. The first time I met Judy was in 1980 right after I moved back into the ward. At the time she wasn't active in church, but she came to my home as my visiting teacher. I remember that she was pregnant - probably with Derrick. I was also pregnant with my Derek so we had something in common. After that one time, our church paths never crossed again until a few years later.
After the ward was divided was when I really got to know Judy. She was called as the Young Women's (YW) President and I was the Mia Maid Adviser. We worked closely together in YW. This is where I saw Judy blossom. Her testimony really grew as she worked with the YW of the ward. Judy was so creative and full of ideas. It was always fun to see what ideas she would come up with and how she was going to implement them. Our ward's big Pioneer Treck was one of her projects that she had a huge hand in. I think about all the hours and hours she spent doing YW and RS (Relief Society) and how supportive Joe was of her.
When I was called to be the RS President, Judy was the secretary. We spent endless hours together talking, laughing, and planning together. I relied on her heavily for her input, her talents and her creativity.
She was assigned to be my visiting teacher off and on over the last 5 years. She was so fun. She would come to my house and sometimes spent 2 or 3 hours just visiting about church, family and life in general. Sometimes she would be at my house late at night and Joe would usually end up calling to check on her - just making sure she was okay.
On more than one occasion, if Judy heard that all my kids were coming home at the same time, she would bring us tons of food to help out. I got so embarrassed about it that I'd try to keep it a secret from her. When I pleaded with her not to do it, she joyfully said that she wanted to, because Joe got fed better when she took food to others. She was always thinking of others and wanting to help in any way she could.
There were numerous times when she baled me out of situations when I needed table decorations for a wedding reception etc. She was always there with her big box of decorations and ideas and could whip up something in a jiffy.
Judy loved to do crafts and sold them at Christmas bazaars. Every year for Christmas and on my birthday she would bring me one of her craft items. One year at Christmas time I decided to display them all on my piano. I had over a dozen Christmas dolls, Santas and wall hangings that she had made. I love them all and will treasure them always.
Joe and Judy would go to dinner with me and Steve. No matter where we ate the food was usually good but the company was even better. Judy had such a bubbly personality that she and the others always kept the evening lively.
A few summers ago we went on a fishing trip with Joe and Judy to Campbell River, Canada. We has so much fun on that trip that we decided to go again the next summer along with Karl and Kathy and each of our families. We have some great memories from those two trips. If I remember right, on one of those trips Judy caught the biggest salmon and had to remind us quite often - good naturedly of course.
Our two families also went on a trip to Yellowstone National Park together. We spent 5 or 6 days at my parent's home, ranch and the Park - fishing, gold mining, and just sightseeing. Of course it was always a party with Judy and Joe and the crazy things that happened.
I have to laugh when I think about the time we floated the Columbia River in canoes. Joe and Judy had just put their canoe in the water with all their food, phones, clothes and cameras. They had only been in the canoe 3 or 4 minutes when Judy decided to splash Joe with the canoe paddle. Joe ducked and leaned to the same side she was splashing from and in an instant the canoe capsized and before they knew it they were in the water and so was everything in the canoe. Judy was laughing hysterically over it - Joe not so much! Those of us on the bank watching it all happen couldn't quit laughing. Joe and Judy put it all back together and off they went - happy as a (soaking wet) clam.
One thing that I always noticed about Judy and Joe was that they were always holding hands. It didn't matter if they were walking around or if they were just sitting. You knew she loved him and he loved her. Judy told me several times that she'd tell the kids, "I love you very much, but your Dad comes first." Now that is true love.
I know Judy had a strong testimony of the gospel and she bore it often. She loved serving in the church and helping others. She was such a good friend and example to me. I loved her like a sister. We had some great times together and I will always treasure those wonderful memories.
--Marla Price

*editors note - I know this one is very long, but I just couldn't leave any of it out. Mom talked of Marla a lot and they were the best of friends. Marla gave our family a true treasure in sharing her memories with us.

Memories

Judy taught us by showing us what it is to "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart." Judy was and is a great example to us in so many ways that we will remember. One of the ways in which I was able to observe is of her love for Joe. Once, early on, when we were bringing Judy into the living room we asked where she wanted to sit, on the couch or chair? She replied, "On Joe's lap." Joe was no where around.
On another occasion we were concerned that Judy's head was hurting as she continued to rub her forehead and grab it. She had been having seizers and we wanted to get Joe. Joe checked Judy and spent some time with her to calm her down and ease her mind, we visited about some of the things that Judy was forgetting. When it was time for Joe to leave he asked Judy for a kiss, she did. Joe said, "You can forget everything else but if you can remember to kiss me we are ok." Judy brightened up when she heard Joe's voice. She could recognize his footsteps and she would smile. Joe could always get Judy to eat better than we could or take her medicine.
-Jan McGary

Words that Remind me of Judy
Tolerant
Thoughtful
Talented
Creative
Generous
Caring
Devoted
Appreciative
Helpful
Energetic
Fun
Fantastic
Delightful
Daring
Bold
Clever
Faithful
Treasures the truth
Twinkle in her eye
Terrific laugh
Teacher to us all
By Anne Jorgenson

One day while Judy was at my house visiting teaching we were talking about mice. I had not had a mouse in my house for over 13 years and after remodeling we had a little visitor and I wasn't happy about it. We were talking about ways to "take care" of mice. I told her that I was serious. I had bought some sand with bobcat and coyote urine and spread it and that I had bought 20lbs. of bait and 12 bait stations and put around the farm. Once I felt enough mice had eaten it, and ran away, my plan was to remove the bait stations and get cats. We laughed for a bit and brainstormed for other methods. I told her that years ago I periodically let a couple cats in the house and had them walk behind the furniture, along walls and under beds spreading their scent. We both had used that method and it seemed to work. She has little mouse visitors from time to time too so we thought about how we could accomplish the same thing without having to have the cats come in. After we thought for a moment she said, "I think I'm just going to pull a bit of hair from my cats and sprinkle it around the house." Unfortunately she never got a chance to try it but I'm sure she WOULD have and we would have had a good laugh about it.
-Krista Salisbury

Judy Pauly. That name alone just makes me smile. She had the most infectious laugh ever. When you heard that laugh, you knew it was her. She was such a giving person. She gave of her time and of her talents which were abundant. I knew her as my bus driver and more importantly my Young Women leader. She taught us with love and kindness. I always knew that she loved us and was thinking of us. Now that I am a Young Woman leader myself, I would love to have as much impact on my girls as she did on me. I will always love Judy and miss her.
-Ashley (Stoker) Harris

Stacey's Memory

My friendship with Judy deepened as I spent time with her during her illness. We talked about EVERYTHING (the thing I know hahaha) often laughing so hard that Joe wold have to get after us. Before the ramps were built and Judy was stronger we would go for walks. One Sunday afternoon Joe and Joe Michael decided to join us...they escorted Judy and I followed behind. The men had a 'purpose' for our walk...exercise, using correct form (balance), they wanted Judy to focus on each step, etc. etc. Judy on the other had wanted to enjoy herself, we were scolded two or three times before the men gave up on us and headed back into the house. I realized early on that Judy's positive, hopeful, happy attitude needed to be nurtured and protected. It was such a blessing to enjoy laughter, music, and even dancing (some therapy got pretty creative). Judy's therapists were included in our good natured teasing...they appreciated the positive environment in Judy's home. Judy had difficulty putting thoughts together at times...she had tried to tell me about a very special priesthood blessing that she had received in the hospital when she was first diagnosed with the cancers. I contacted one of the brethren and shared with him what Judy could remember, I then asked him to please add to it if he could. I typed out the response and took it over to Judy as a surprise. As I read it to her tears came to her eyes...it truly was a beautiful blessing. Those were the only tears I ever saw Judy shed...never in pain, never in despair...only in love. The Lord loved her and would help Joe...she responded by putting her faith and trust in him. I watched Judy give the Lord her best efforts. Tuesday July 14th we failed miserably at Judy's 'trial' passing. Judy's breathing changed and we called Joe home. Family members were called, Bishop and President Whitby gave Judy a blessing at Joe's request...we shed tears and waited (and waited). Judy's condition changed and she improved...I believe that it was in response to the blessing...and sheer disapproval of how we were handling ourselves at her passing (ha). By Saturday July 18th our fears had been comforted and Judy could leave us, it was time to go...peace and love prevailed. The time I spent with Judy strengthened my testimony...I have seen what it means to 'endure well', to have courage, and to trust. What a gift...What an inspiring lady!!!! -Stacey Taylor

Mom's "Stuff"

I was in WA a few weeks ago helping Heather and Dad set up for an open house. The open house was to give a gift of one of mom's creations to all of the wonderful people who have helped and sustained our family through this time. Most especially those who came into our home to take care of mom.
I never realized how much "stuff" can fit into such small places. Heather, Ketra and I went through one bedroom when we were home for Grandma's funeral. That was just the tip of the iceberg. Mom had more craft stuff in the four closets downstairs, a whole craft closet that takes up a small hallway, and a storage shed, about the size of a one car garage, outside! We set out all of the finished product and realized we had enough to satisfy an army of women. Good thing too, we had an army of women who came to care for mom when she needed it most.
I had a wonderful time seeing and talking with all of those incredible women. Some wonderful memories were shared, some tears were shed, and a lot of "stuff" went out the door! Mom had so much it covered the downstairs, the back bedroom, the kitchen and the living room. We had trails so my kids and I could make it into our bedrooms at night. It ended up being a wonderful way of sharing a little bit of mom one last time.
I only had one moment when I thought I couldn't take it. I walked into the living room on my last night there and realized that all of the finished product had been reduced to one table. I got that sinking feeling for just one second and thought, "It's all gone. Mom is all gone." Then immediately I was so happy that where it all went was right and that mom would want it right where it was. All of you will cherish her passion, and it truly was a passion, and because you have a bit of what she loved, she will never be forgotten.
Again, our family thanks you for all of your love. And we pray you will love her things and see her in them as much as we do.

p.s. The family is doing fine.