No Words

This is probably the hardest blog I have written since the very first one. Mom appears to be fine. She is handling this with the same faith she has had from the beginning.
One week ago last Thursday mom had a new PET scan done. This is the scan that does it all. Two days ago we received the results from that scan. I'm sure from the tone of this blog you have already guessed the outcome. We have suspended all Chemo therapy and radiation because it just won't do any good any more. The tumors in the brain have increased in size by 30% even though we did a very aggressive form of radiation to the brain. On top of that the Leptomenengial spread has increased to the entire cap of the head. We knew from the onset of the Lepto spread that it was one of the most aggressive forms of cancer, we just hoped we would be the ones to beat it.
As far as being in pain or discomfort mom shows no signs of this. She very rarely complains. And when she does it generally is a valid complaint. She has moments of being aware of her surroundings most of the time, but she does come in and out. Sometimes you think she is tracking a conversation and then you realize she has a far away stare on her face. Mom has shown such wonderful humility and acceptance of this way of dying from the beginning. She told dad not long after finding the cancer that she wanted to be around another couple of years, but if this is what her Heavenly Father had in store for her than that was okay. Once while she was talking to Ketra she said this illness was not a burden to her. I remember some months before finding the cancer that mom told me she had never had a real trial of her faith. I believe she has now. And not only has she had a major trial of her faith, but she is coming through with flying colors! If I could have a small portion of her acceptance and humility I think getting into heaven would be easy.
In the next coming days and weeks mom will simply start to sleep more and more. She may have more headaches as the pressure builds, but we have pain meds to help control that. One morning, afternoon or evening she simply won't wake up and then she will stay in a deep sleep until she finally passes peacefully.
Our family cannot express to you the thanks and gratitude we have for all of your wonderful and continued help throughout this time. We have felt loved and cared for in your actions, thoughts and prayers. We thank those who will help us as the time grows near and with the transition that will occur as we mourn mom's passing.
We also will be posting our favorite memories of mom. If you would like to post yours please either leave it in the comments section of this blog or e-mail Rachael @ remundhq@msn.com.
Thank you again for all of your love and support.